Starting a health journey often means more than just changing what’s on your plate or moving your body differently—it’s also about navigating the relationships around you. The people in our lives can either help lift us or, in some cases, unintentionally hold us back. When you decide to make significant lifestyle changes for your health, you may find that others naturally fall into different categories of support, ranging from fully invested partners to skeptics and even subtle saboteurs. Recognizing where people fall on this spectrum is key to maximizing positive influence and protecting yourself from unnecessary negativity.
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This article helps you identify these support types and guides you in cultivating relationships that encourage and sustain your progress. Whether it’s finding ways to engage supportive people or strategies for handling less encouraging voices, this journey can become one of connection, understanding, and self-empowerment.
Your goal is to maximize support from people in categories 4-6 and minimize exposure to those in categories 1-3. Developing a clear strategy for handling people in the lower categories is essential to protect your progress. List the people in your life, so you know who to include in your journey to better health and who to protect yourself from.
Here are the categories of supporters ranging from worst to best, and how to deal with them.
1. Actively Negative (No Support)
- Behavior: Constantly criticizing or discouraging your efforts. They may try to talk you out of your approach, undermining your decisions and questioning the effectiveness of your chosen path.
- Example: A loved one frequently says things like, “This diet won’t work,” or “You’re wasting your time and energy on something that’s not going to help you.” or even telling you it´s harmful.
- Impact: This type of behavior can feel emotionally draining, making you second-guess yourself and adding unnecessary stress to your journey.
- Approach: Stay away if possible. Don’t discuss your diet or health journey with this person, as they will likely undermine your progress and make you doubt your decisions. It’s best to limit contact on this subject to avoid unnecessary stress. They may never come around, and engaging them will only drain your energy.
- Do you know anyone in this category? Who is it? Be aware, and try to protect yourself from harmful comments by knowing that they might come, and remembering that this person does not know the power of what you are doing and how it can change your life for the better. Remember your Heart Goals. If it is not possible to stay away from these people, do not engage them in your thoughts on diet or what you are doing. Some people are not open to change and will never support someone in changing their diet. If these are people in your life, focus on other topics to talk about or things to do.
2. Passive-Aggressive (Disinterest with Occasional Negativity)
- Behavior: They may make dismissive or sarcastic remarks and show little interest in your health journey. While they don’t actively oppose your efforts, their negative attitude surfaces in subtle ways.
- Example: They might roll their eyes when you talk about your progress or make comments like, “I guess we can’t eat anything fun anymore.”
- Impact: While not directly obstructive, this attitude can chip away at your confidence and motivation over time.
- Advice: Avoid deep discussions. This person might not be openly hostile but will bring negativity in subtle ways. Discussing your lifestyle changes with them can leave you feeling unsupported. Stick to light conversations and avoid expecting encouragement. Their attitude may not change unless they witness significant benefits from your journey over time.
- Do you know anyone in this category? Who is it? Maybe you can tolerate this sometimes, but it can also be very hurtful. Maybe you can talk to the person and tell them that this is making you upset. If they are not able to stop it, try to protect yourself and remember that you are doing this for important reasons and that it can have an amazing impact on your life. Change is difficult for many people, and maybe this person is not ready to support you right now for reasons deep inside that we are not aware of.
3. Neutral (Tolerant but Distant)
- Behavior: They don’t engage with or show interest in your health choices but aren’t openly negative. They may tolerate your decisions but avoid offering any support, positive or negative.
- Example: “If that’s what you want to do, fine, but I don’t really care either way.”
- Impact: This can leave you feeling isolated, as you won’t feel any emotional encouragement but won’t face opposition either.
- Advice: Share only when necessary. This person is indifferent to your journey, and while they’re not harmful, they won’t offer much support either. Keep your interactions light and don’t expect involvement.
- Do you know anyone in this category? Who is it? Being aware of what kind of support the people around you can offer, and not, is valuable to know who to turn to when you need it. This is not the person. At least not yet. Over time, if they see the positive results of your efforts, they might become more engaged but don’t expect them to be a pillar of support early on.
4. Respectful (Supportive but Uninvolved)
- Behavior: They respect your decisions and encourage you to do what you need to do, but they don’t want to actively participate in lifestyle changes.
- Example: “I’m happy you’re doing this for your health, but it’s not really for me. I’ll support you from the sidelines.”
- Impact: While you won’t feel completely alone, their lack of active involvement can still make it feel like a solo journey.
- Advice: Take it slow; potential for growth. This person respects your choices but isn’t interested in participating. Don’t push them to join your efforts. Focus on maintaining open communication and letting them see the benefits as you progress. Over time, they may become more supportive or even want to engage as they witness your success.
5. Mildly Supportive (Occasional Engagement)
- Behavior: They support your efforts in small ways but don’t go out of their way to actively join in. They may occasionally show interest or make an effort to accommodate your needs.
- Example: They might agree to eat one of your healthy meals occasionally but won’t fully support it. “I’ll eat what you’re eating tonight, but I don’t want to do it every day.”
- Impact: This level of support can be encouraging, but it may still feel lonely if their involvement is sporadic.
- Advice: Encourage occasional participation. This person is willing to support you in small ways, which can be a stepping stone to deeper involvement. Acknowledge their efforts, however small, and encourage more participation gradually. As they experience positive moments (eating healthy meals with you, joining for a walk), they may become more invested.
6. Encouraging (Fully Supportive but Independent)
- Behavior: They offer consistent emotional support and express pride in your efforts, even if they aren’t actively participating. They show genuine interest in your progress, listen to your challenges, and encourage you to keep going.
- Example: “I’m so proud of how hard you’re working to improve your health. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.”
- Impact: Their emotional encouragement helps you feel validated and supported, even if they aren’t sharing the journey themselves.
- Advice: Nurture the encouragement. This person offers consistent emotional support even if they’re not fully involved. Keep them updated on your progress and express gratitude for their encouragement. Over time, they may take a more active role if they see the positive effects on your health. Their emotional encouragement will be invaluable during tough times.
- Cherish this and let them know how much it means to you. Only some people will have such people to lean on in their health journey. If you do not, try to find support in our membership where you can hear from like-minded people.
7. Active Engagement (Supporting by Sharing Some Habits)
- Behavior: They don’t fully adopt your lifestyle but make efforts to participate in small ways, such as joining you for certain meals, activities, or habits. They understand the importance of your changes and want to be part of the process when they can.
- Example: They might cook or eat some of your meals with you or join you on walks for stress relief. “Let’s make a big salad together to support your diet.”
- Impact: This level of engagement can be uplifting and make you feel like you have a partner in certain aspects of your journey.
- Advice: Invite more active participation. This person already shares some of your healthy habits and may be open to doing more. Continue to engage them with activities that align with both of your lifestyles, like cooking together or going for walks. Over time, their involvement may increase naturally as they see the value in what you’re doing.
- Do you know anyone like that? Think outside your normal circle. Maybe you can reach out and find someone who wants to motivate you, or someone who wants to do the same and you can be there for one another offering mutual support and motivation.
8. Full Emotional and Practical Support (Actively Participating Occasionally)
- Behavior: They consistently provide emotional and practical support, occasionally adopting your lifestyle changes themselves to help you succeed. They may not fully commit to your routine but are enthusiastic about supporting you through both words and actions.
- Example: “I’ll make sure our pantry has everything you need for your diet, and I’ll cook those meals with you on weekends.”
- Impact: This level of involvement can strengthen your motivation, providing both practical help and emotional encouragement.
- Advice: Strengthen the partnership. This person is highly supportive and willing to take part in your journey. Foster this by planning meals, activities, and check-ins together. The more they see the benefits, the more likely they are to deepen their involvement. Make sure to acknowledge their support and encourage regular involvement to keep the momentum going.
9. Committed Partner (Regularly Sharing in the Journey)
- Behavior: They actively participate in your journey regularly, sharing meals, activities, and lifestyle changes with you. They may not adopt all aspects of your routine, but they are committed to being a real partner in the process.
- Example: “Let’s plan our meals together for the week, and we’ll cook them as a family.”
- Impact: This type of support creates a sense of shared commitment and camaraderie, helping you feel less alone and more empowered.
- Advice: Maintain balance and appreciation. This person is deeply committed and shares the journey with you. Keep communication open and make sure they feel valued as a partner. Their consistent support is essential, and continuing to work together will help strengthen both your resolve and theirs. Plan and track your progress together to stay motivated.
- Do you know anyone in this category? Who is it? If you have anything like this, it is rare and truly amazing. Most people do not, even over time. But it is possible. And even without this, you can do it.
10. Fully Invested (Doing It Together)
- Behavior: They have fully embraced your health journey, adopting the same lifestyle changes as you and participating in all aspects of the process. They are equally committed to the long-term goals and share the ups and downs with you.
- Example: “We’re in this together. Let’s both follow the plan, track our progress, and support each other along the way.”
- Impact: This is the highest level of support, where you and your loved one are true partners in every sense, walking the same path and offering mutual encouragement. This creates a deep bond and a strong foundation for long-term success.
- Advice: Treasure this partnership! Having someone who is fully invested and walking the same path with you is rare and invaluable. Work together to set goals, celebrate successes, and support each other through setbacks. This person is a true ally in your health journey, and nurturing this relationship will provide the emotional and practical foundation for long-term success.
- This is a typical mum-child thing. It is not usual to have a partner or a friend at this level, even after a long time with great results. Most people will not adopt this lifestyle if they do not struggle for a long time with debilitating symptoms. But after a time in the community, you might find another person who shares your experience and that you love spending time with. They might be this person for you. It makes the years ahead so much easier. Until then, we are here for you!!
Though rare, category 7-10 supporters do exist. With time, a loved one may decide to fully join you, or you may form new friendships within supportive communities. Keep an open mind and heart as you navigate these shifts. Here are some of the different categories and how to deal with them.
You Deserve A Supportive Network
Embarking on a path to better health can feel lonely at times, but it’s also an opportunity to build or strengthen meaningful connections. As you start setting boundaries with those who don’t fully understand or support your journey, you also open up space for more positive, supportive relationships to develop. Over time, you may find that some people surprise you by joining your efforts, while others simply cheer from the sidelines. Whatever the case, remember that your health journey is your own—and you deserve to fill it with people who uplift, encourage, and walk beside you.
For more insights and strategies on building a strong support system, read our full article How to Find the Support You Need here.
Together, let’s create the community you need to thrive.
You deserve a supportive team cheering you on.
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